Out On Bail...
and on yesterday's news, i was arrested - alleged bomb hoax!!!!
WEEKS back at work i was messing around with a box with broken glass in it, writing loads of crap on it. amongst the things i wrote was "booom now im seriouos". so yesterday a colleague finds this box and raises an alarm...
cops come flooding, vans, dogs the entire building evacuated, tube station closed, full throttle, the works....(so i was told anyway). im at home at this point and i have no idea whats happening...
so i get a call at around 8:32am and my supervisor is asking me if i wrote any such on a box and....basically she wants me to confirm whether to take this seriously or not. i couldnt say for SURE so i tell her it sounds like something i would do (my kinda humor) but because we've been having alleged bomb treaths (yeh we've had phone calls and yadi yada...) in 6/7 months of opening, do what is necessary to get it assessed and evaluated until i can come in and identify this box...
so i go into work, ask around...and another colleague of mine is telling me "...remember when you were messing around with the box of broken glass....". so yep its me! why she didnt say this when they found the box is still a mystery to me, the box (small box by the way, holds about 3glasses) was open and she was with me when i was writing all that junk on it.
anyway so i go tell my manager...minutes after female copper comes in, starts blabbling my rights and arrests me. mind you im still smiling at this point, barely holding in a laugh lol. but yeh they cuff ma ass...
im unbelievably calm at the back of this van with limited light and space...to the station. there, shoes off belt out, basically like a detailed check in into a hotel, only they keep most of your shit. then the room, did i just say room? my bad! i meant this green 8-walled window-less, filty-toilet-having chilly cell with distinct outline of how the mud bricks were put together. All this and im still calm as fuck!! - mind you i've NEVER been banged up before. the bed is this, god knows what that shit is made off, its concrete, a layer of wood and this blue thing, some kinda matress and pillow i spose!
at the interrogation, they wouldnt believe it was just a joke or that nothing was intended, mind you there were LOADS of other crap written on this box, they just chose to highlight those for relevance and fitting. i refused a lawyer as well, they seemed to wonder why even though i answered all their repeated questions (same thing over and over). o yeh they ceased ma baby, my MDA VARIO 3, as "evidence" (im not Jack Bauer people, there are no skimatics!!!) no hopes on getting that phone back, not until 2020 in time for the Olympics or some historic event! so i cant make any phone calls...
so im jobless and out on bail, due back june 26th, wish me luck peeeaaacccceee! *throwing up some cool gang signs* ;-)
Comments
what the fuck happened to common sense?
kilian, at least you made me piss myself laughin readin this! Im sure nothing will come of it, just tell them you want your phone back or you will sue for theft and wrongful imprisonment - seriously, put them on the back foot...
I got locked up a few times when I was younger - hope you enjoyed the concrete bed and metal pillows!! Hey - at any point did they open the box? Sounds like you got some total jerks for co-workers....get a sense of humor people!!
By the way, you say ur jobless, so im assuming youve lost ur job because of this situation? Wrongful dismissal - some1 needs to be sued, or collect an ass-whoopin, u decide....
Ian
ps. beat is on the way soon....stay focused!
Question though, why did you decline a lawyer?
I hope all goes well... Your coworkers are plain retarded!
Its not illegal to right 'BOOM' on a box and I'd love to see someone argue that this is misconduct worthy of direct dismissel. You still have a job man. I say turn up with your rucksack and say you need to pop out....u might get shot but you won't die, millionaire for shizzle. Also tell who evers following you to at least get a car so you can get a lift, I can picture Tony Soprano pulling a move like that. Its about time MI5 were questioned on being carbon efficient anyway.
Well, perhaps this is new song inspiration.
Reminds me of my stay in Florida a few years back. A week or so before I went, a young Brit female got her a$$ landed in jail because she jokingly told Immigration that she had bombs in her rucksack. They didn't see the funny side and she only managed bail due to a local businessman taking pity on her plight and stumping up the required few grand. She still had to endure a week or more in the slammer, 3,000 miles from home and surrounded by all kinds of low lifes, that probably still gives her nasty flashbacks.
The terrorist threat makes the authorities overly twitchy and I say *never ever* joke about this kind of thing, especially in the current climate.
That said, I hope you don't lose your job, and so much for your co-worker's integrity.
I also underscore Gnome's advice to get a good solicitor.
hey kils! i tried calin ya n did text ya..we dnt fink bad of you..were all finkin of you! watever hapend was reli stupid if estele never went and told the whole world i mean was just a scibble on the box..but after eveything that as hapened you shouldnt of not wrote anything dumb..u know how serisuly they take with these sort of stuf! just hope your okey and to see u soon...XxXxXx